pointless thoughts...

I'm still deeply affected by that whole Group E/Group V situation, but I'm doing a better job at coping. I'm able to meet my deliverables and slowly accomplish my tasks without feeling too bad about the whole thing. In fact, I think I'm contributing a lot despite knowing that there's really nothing to gain from the matter. I'm only hoping that they acknowledge how professional I was in spite of what was going to happen.

Right now though, I'm getting pissed off at someone who unbelievably has a bad perception of me. I don't know what her problem is, but according to a reliable source, this person has kept on bad mouthing and judging me. She's made a lot of judgments and assumptions as to what caused the Group V situation.

I'm really pissed off at how two-faced this person is. When we're face to face, she's all smiles, greets me like we're good friends and even fixes my ID strap, making sure that it's neatly placed under the collar of my shirt. But behind my back, she blames me for demotivating my team, accuses me of stopping the growth of my team, and all other bad things about me. And I really don't get why she's doing this, since I've never done anything to her. I did have negative things to say about her and her team, but my comments are based on these facts:

1. Before we moved out from our old building, their team had powerful computer access permissions. They could surf all websites, including those that played streaming videos. They've watched countless TV shows at the office, during work hours, such as Heroes, Gossip Girl, Smallville, Lost, and then claim to be really busy and underpaid. Now, using the internet for personal matters is prohibited at the office, but somewhat tolerated especially if its just minor websites like Wikipedia, but streaming media? Watching loads of shows? Is that professional?

2. I've experienced needing to have my personnel trained for specific job functions, and their team is responsible (heck, they're called the Training team, and yes, she's a trainer) for this. Well, I think that trainings should be handled by trainers, I mean, who else would do the training? Janitors? I'm miffed at the times that I requested for these courses, only to be told that the trainer that is certified to train that course is no longer with their team. So that's it? I'm on my own here? What are you guys being paid for? To watch Smallville?

3. The backtalk that this person has been doing. I hate it. I don't talk behind her back, and I'm more than ready to voice out my issues about their team face to face if they want, I'm just being professional and avoid talking about them to avoid further problems and tension at work. But they're not doing the same. What gave this person the right to judge me and my work? Why does she have something negative to say about me everyday?

I'm taking the high road and I'm not going to play her game. I'm going to be vocal about my issues with her talking behind my back, but I'm not going to be like her and invent complaints. And unlike her, I'm going to be real. I don't like her anymore, and she'll know that. I'll make it a point to not become like her.

Having a night schedule at work is really hard on my body clock, especially right now. It's so hard to sleep during the day, and forcing myself to be awake during the day on weekends doesn't help at all. Right now, a Monday, I tried waking up really early (6:16 AM to be precise) so that I'd be sleepy enough to at least take a nap during noon, but nope, I'm still awake as of this moment (6:36 PM). And I still have work later. From 9 PM to 6 AM. It's likely that I'll have to stay awake for more than 24 hours today. And I can't afford any mid-shift naps, since Monday is always the busiest day of the week for me.

It doesn't help that I have a new computer. I'm the type of person that can fight off sleepiness whenever I'm doing something that's addictive, and right now I'm quite addicted to computer stuff. I've been without a computer of my own for give or take 3 years, until last week. Since then, I've been having an average of 3-4 hours sleep daily, well below my 6 hour requirement.

I've been talking about solving problems and my insomnia is definitely a big problem, but half the answer is easy. All I have to do is have enough willpower to resist the things that entertain me, or at least limit the time I spend being entertained, and I should be able to get more sleep than what I'm getting. The other half is not so easy, because it involves changing my environment.

*Yawn* Times like these, I'm more than half tempted to just skip work, but that never turns out well. So I'll just brace myself, ready my Starbucks GC and prepare for a long night.

I liked playing around a lot with my friend's windshield squirter thingys. Whatever it is that they're called, I don't really care, for this story I'm going to call them squirters. My friend still had that old '93 Toyota Corolla model (some of them can still be seen, it's a classic and durable model) and once or twice I've seen him pull these squirters out to clean them. A lightbulb then flashed in my head--maybe we can twist the squirters around so that instead of facing toward the windshield, they'd face forward? We did just that and decided to try squirting cars and passers by.

We spent an hour driving around, squirting water at cars in front of us. We had a few laughs, but we got disappointed because the drivers didn't seem to notice. We saw a man riding a bicycle who was a little ahead of us and since he had his back turned, we decided to go ahead and shoot him. We hit him with a bit of water right at the left shoulder. This made him turn toward us, but the weirdness of the situation kind of made us look innocent. I mean c'mon, who would, after being hit by a jet of water, expect that it came from a car right behind them?

Now, I always keep having ideas, so this wasn't the end of it. I was trying to convince my friend that putting some sort of paint or coloring in the water would be a great idea. How many of you drivers have been thinking of ways to get even with that other driver who just cut in front of you? Imagine how fun it would be if that person who cut in front of you got out of his car and saw paint splatters all over his bumper?

Here's another Marvel superhero team, a team that's now better known because of two moderately successful (but critically panned) movies:

Yes, that's right--its the Fantastic Four! These four people ventured out into space and were irradiated by cosmic rays. When they returned to Earth, they found out that each of them gained fantastic powers.

The flaming guy (top) is Johnny Storm, also known as the Human Torch. He has the power to envelop his entire body in fire without harm to himself. He can use this flame to propel him in the air and fly, and he can also shoot out streams of fire, or shape them into fireballs and throw them. Additionally, he can control fire and can also absorb fire into his body. He can project an immense amount of heat, which he calls his Nova Flame, and use it offensively as a directed wave of fire or projected around his surroundings. Of the four members of the team, he considers his powers to be the most dangerous, thus he is always concerned about hurting others and keeps his powers in check. His character is brash and reckless, but he's responsible enough to use his powers for good. He obviously represents Fire.

The stone bruth (right) is Ben Grimm, also known as the Thing. He was the pilot of the expedition and sometimes blames Reed Richards for the accident. He was turned into living stone by the cosmic rays, resulting in increased strength and resistance to physical injury. He's very straightforward, and he provides the team's muscle. He represents Earth.

The lady (left) is Susan Richards. Formerly Susan Storm (Johnny's older sister), she married Reed Richards years after the accident. She gained the ability to bend light around herself to make her invisible. This earned her the name Invisible Girl, and eventually Invisible Woman. Later on, her powers developed, allowing her to make others invisible, generate invisible force fields, objects and platforms for defensive (shields) and offensive (solid beams of invisible energy) use. She even learned the ability to levitate by generating an invisible platform underneath her feet and use it to lift herself and others in the air. She represents Air.

Last but not the least, the man with the high tech gun (bottom) is none other than Reed Richards, the leader of the team. Mr. Fantastic earned the power to stretch, twist and re-shape his body into inhuman proportions. This gives him high resistance to physical attacks such as punches and weaponry, but he remains vulnerable to energy weapons. His main strength, however, is not his powers. He is a brilliant scientist, able to invent high-tech gadgets and weaponry to aid the team in their fight against evil. He represents Water.

Here's how they look like in comic books:

Currently, I'm handling two... groups, for lack of a better term. I'm originally from group E and was asked to handle the implementation of group V while still handling group E, and I knew I could handle it so I agreed. I never intended to join the training for group V because it would take too much of my time (8 hours for 15 days). Being that I'm not very high in the chain of command, I didn't get my wish. Group V's boss, or boss V, insisted that I join training. So I agreed. For the duration of the training, I came in a minimum of 11 hours per day (with one absence) just to meet my responsibilities for Group E, as well as complete backend preparations of Group V.

During implementation, I came across the following problems:

1. Our partners for Group V were slow in producing materials that I needed to do our part in the implementation phase.
2. We didn't get much support from our partners in terms of learning the material. What we had is a phone conference where they read one of the materials and talked about revisions, and very little about explaining the material (I guess they felt it was self explanatory).
3. We weren't given enough time to roll out all of the materials properly. I had to sit by individuals in one on one meetings, explaining materials that I received on that day. These meetings lasted from 1 hour to 3 hours per person. Group V wouldn't allow me to grab people in groups or even pairs.

So, implementation wasn't exactly smooth, considering that I still had Group E to worry about. But things didn't stop there. Yesterday, I had a meeting with Boss V, and in that meeting I was told that they would be getting a dedicated member, but I can apply if I wanted the job. I was like, this is MY job, and you're taking it away? in my head. I told Boss V that I did my best with what I could work with, and even if we both agreed, I felt like I was slapped in the face. I had invested time and effort in ensuring Group V would run smoothly. 5 days after training had ended, and this happens. What was the basis for this decision? What do I get for my efforts? Do I get any credits for what I was able to do, and will be doing until they find a replacement for me? People should know better, but I know that it's their loss, not mine. They haven't given me the chance to shine, how could I when I was weighed down with all those issues? Coming from long training days?

I'm a professional though, and as a professional, I looked at Boss V and said I would gladly continue to serve my position until someone else is ready to take my place. But I doubt that hiring someone new will help, there are no available people with my experience. Good luck hiring someone who's still learning the ropes and placing the success of the implementation in that person's hands, while I wish Group V success, the realist in me knows that they're going to have a bumpy ride with someone new in the driver's seat instead of me.